Maybe I am too self aware instead of being more status conscious.
I've decided to close my ears to the criticism, and the intimidation.
Sometimes, it is what it is.
Why create stress and negativity within myself just because someone thinks I am something I am not?
I've heard it all before. I did this. I said that.
I'm inappropriate. I'm disruptive. I'm irrational. I'm sarcastic.
Smacked my head on the glass ceiling again.
Failed to report anomalies.
Failed to kow tow when ordered.
Failed to submit.
Decided to put my needs first.
How dare I?
This time, I'm inspired to pull out all the stops.
I had the conversations I needed to.
I can overcome these challenges.
Rise to meet these obstacles and with ease, meet great success.
Yes, I took a risk.
I know I can power my way past such obstacles.
Events are moving fast, it may be wise to leave the slower bits behind.
There are no limitations here in the real world, except the ones I acknowledge.
Franz Kafka said: There are some things one can only achieve by a deliberate leap in the opposite direction.
Consider it done.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A Genealogical Dig
If you were to look at my face, you'd see an Asian, an Oriental woman smiling back at you. There would be no indication that I am descended from a Jewish great, great maternal grandmother. Until I opened my mouth to speak, you'd have no idea I am fluent in the English language. For undoubtedly, I look Chinese. Having no accent, it would soon be apparent that I was born in Canada.
I've been on a genealogical dig for a few years now. Collecting photos, talking to relatives, hearing stories searching the internet, library archives and various cemetery lists. Who do I think I am by tracing family history? I intend to find out.
It began when I read a letter to the editor in the Spectator regarding repealing the Head Tax that was accompanied by a photo of six brothers that got me thinking. I discovered I was related to the author of the letter and that one of the young men in the photo was actually Lee Ying Poy, my father's father. He arrived here in the early 1900's. I had no idea he had brothers. Until that moment I had never seen a photo of my grandfather. He died in 1931 when my father was an infant. Imagine not knowing who you've descended from. All I knew was each he and his brothers were required to pay a tax to enter Canada. He has been gone so long, he is just a vague memory to those who survived him and was very rarely spoken of.
I discovered a Lee Family Association in Toronto. I wrote letters. Posted on genealogical websites. I was able to garner some historical data on those six brothers. During the course of time, one of my second cousins was able to piece together her family tree. I envied her. I'm still working on mine. Along the way, I’ve made a few interesting discoveries and connections. One cousin has my paternal grandmother’s original Head Tax certificate. Wow! That was a find.
The search for extended family continues and is on-going. It hasn’t always been easy. I’ve encountered obstacles, denials and with those intent on secret keeping. This is also hindered by my inability to read Chinese documents and be fluent in the language.
My mother’s mother is my only surviving grandparent. Born on the east coast in Canada (unsure of the year), her view of the past remains skewed, so it’s difficult to get a handle on her version of events regarding that side of the family.
Both my parents have very little recollections to share. For my father, it’s the dementia that blocks the remembering, and with my mother—let’s just say she can’t be bothered. She has no interest in digging up the past.
The most influential factor for my genealogical dig came about by watching TV, and not by being encouraged by curious relatives. I happened to tune into Henry Louis Gates Jr.’s series entitled African American Lives, a special series tracing black heritage through historical and DNA research. It was his PBS program on genealogy that explores roots, race and identity through the ancestry of remarkable individuals that further sparked my interest in my own ancestry.
I’ll never forget the day I watched the Food Network, when Aussie chef Kylie Kwong embarked on a special visit to her home village in China. Kylie’s destination in China is coincidently near where my paternal grandfather is from. Who knew? Through research I also learned of the existence of a generational book that logs each descendent from the Lee home village. A place I hope to visit one day in the future.
I am grateful to my aunt Bev who confirmed our Jewish roots. Given the racial climate in those days, it's no wonder that the stigma surrounding mixed marriages helped keep this fact buried in memory. And memory is selective depending on who you are conversing with. Especially in my clan.
For now, there’s the knowledge that my brother David is the last Lee male to carry on the family name in this generation that I know of. He has no sons so the chain will be broken. But who knows? I may in time find more family members and I remain optimistic the lineage will not end here with me holding on to the knowledge that there must be other descendents out there waiting to be found. In doing so, I continue to dig.
I've been on a genealogical dig for a few years now. Collecting photos, talking to relatives, hearing stories searching the internet, library archives and various cemetery lists. Who do I think I am by tracing family history? I intend to find out.
It began when I read a letter to the editor in the Spectator regarding repealing the Head Tax that was accompanied by a photo of six brothers that got me thinking. I discovered I was related to the author of the letter and that one of the young men in the photo was actually Lee Ying Poy, my father's father. He arrived here in the early 1900's. I had no idea he had brothers. Until that moment I had never seen a photo of my grandfather. He died in 1931 when my father was an infant. Imagine not knowing who you've descended from. All I knew was each he and his brothers were required to pay a tax to enter Canada. He has been gone so long, he is just a vague memory to those who survived him and was very rarely spoken of.
I discovered a Lee Family Association in Toronto. I wrote letters. Posted on genealogical websites. I was able to garner some historical data on those six brothers. During the course of time, one of my second cousins was able to piece together her family tree. I envied her. I'm still working on mine. Along the way, I’ve made a few interesting discoveries and connections. One cousin has my paternal grandmother’s original Head Tax certificate. Wow! That was a find.
The search for extended family continues and is on-going. It hasn’t always been easy. I’ve encountered obstacles, denials and with those intent on secret keeping. This is also hindered by my inability to read Chinese documents and be fluent in the language.
My mother’s mother is my only surviving grandparent. Born on the east coast in Canada (unsure of the year), her view of the past remains skewed, so it’s difficult to get a handle on her version of events regarding that side of the family.
Both my parents have very little recollections to share. For my father, it’s the dementia that blocks the remembering, and with my mother—let’s just say she can’t be bothered. She has no interest in digging up the past.
The most influential factor for my genealogical dig came about by watching TV, and not by being encouraged by curious relatives. I happened to tune into Henry Louis Gates Jr.’s series entitled African American Lives, a special series tracing black heritage through historical and DNA research. It was his PBS program on genealogy that explores roots, race and identity through the ancestry of remarkable individuals that further sparked my interest in my own ancestry.
I’ll never forget the day I watched the Food Network, when Aussie chef Kylie Kwong embarked on a special visit to her home village in China. Kylie’s destination in China is coincidently near where my paternal grandfather is from. Who knew? Through research I also learned of the existence of a generational book that logs each descendent from the Lee home village. A place I hope to visit one day in the future.
I am grateful to my aunt Bev who confirmed our Jewish roots. Given the racial climate in those days, it's no wonder that the stigma surrounding mixed marriages helped keep this fact buried in memory. And memory is selective depending on who you are conversing with. Especially in my clan.
For now, there’s the knowledge that my brother David is the last Lee male to carry on the family name in this generation that I know of. He has no sons so the chain will be broken. But who knows? I may in time find more family members and I remain optimistic the lineage will not end here with me holding on to the knowledge that there must be other descendents out there waiting to be found. In doing so, I continue to dig.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Time to Make a Change
I came aboard to help. Of course that was the plan, as well as have a stable stream of income. Only, I was welcomed with opposition. Something was not exactly right about the work culture.
It and some of it's members resisted me. A fresh approach. Individuality versus automoton behaviours. Customer service was not a real priority. Which is interesting given that it was a service based business.
Elements of seniority that were shoved down my throat.
They were here first after all. Objections to my delivery of the skills required.
Sabotaged as an outsider.
Mistakenly expected to be a carbon copy of the youth culture. Indeed.
Tagged teamed by arrogance. How does one thrive in a negativity?
The good news is, I am free. I can choose.
I choose to let it go.
I pick my battles. There are other opportunities out there.
I'll chock this challenge up to yet another learning experience. Why compromise my integrity because a twenty-something with more power prefers politics to reality?
Time to make a change. Only good can come from this...
Best to be in a culture where one's contributions are valued.
It and some of it's members resisted me. A fresh approach. Individuality versus automoton behaviours. Customer service was not a real priority. Which is interesting given that it was a service based business.
Elements of seniority that were shoved down my throat.
They were here first after all. Objections to my delivery of the skills required.
Sabotaged as an outsider.
Mistakenly expected to be a carbon copy of the youth culture. Indeed.
Tagged teamed by arrogance. How does one thrive in a negativity?
The good news is, I am free. I can choose.
I choose to let it go.
I pick my battles. There are other opportunities out there.
I'll chock this challenge up to yet another learning experience. Why compromise my integrity because a twenty-something with more power prefers politics to reality?
Time to make a change. Only good can come from this...
Best to be in a culture where one's contributions are valued.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sharing Wisdom from Julia Cameron
Writing is alchemy. Writing that poem, moving out of that
cramped and cerebral space of bitterness into the capacious heart,
I am no longer a victim, an enemy, an injured party.
I am what I am: a writer.
Writing is medicine. It is appropriate antidote to injury.
It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change.
Writing about the change, we can help it along, lean into it, cooperate.
Writing allows us to rewrite our lives.
Thanks Julia Cameron.
...
I believe this to be true.
cramped and cerebral space of bitterness into the capacious heart,
I am no longer a victim, an enemy, an injured party.
I am what I am: a writer.
Writing is medicine. It is appropriate antidote to injury.
It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change.
Writing about the change, we can help it along, lean into it, cooperate.
Writing allows us to rewrite our lives.
Thanks Julia Cameron.
...
I believe this to be true.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Dealing with the Bully in the Work Place
All too frequently, a person with no regard for either coworkers or the company is regarded by the boss as indispensable.
Over a few weeks of seeing C roll her eyes, dismiss people with a wave of her hand, hear her backbiting sarcasm and know-it-all responses, and watching her hostile, aggressive behavior and its effect on the office, there was no possibility that the behavior could go unchecked. It was toxic to the productivity and health of everyone as well as to the profitability of the company.
A problem arose. The owner of the company did not want to fire her because she brought a unique combination of experience and expertise to the company. A classic dilemma in small companies!
It is all too frequent that a person with no regard for either co-workers or the company holds too much information and the boss thinks of them as indispensable…while holding everyone else hostage.
Big mistake!
Consider how much time and energy is lost in this company as this rhino charges and bullies her way through the day. People would take a sick day when they had had enough of her overbearing nastiness. There is only so much folks can take. Productivity suffered. Clients were lost. The costs of keeping such an individual employed are too high.
Recognizing a bully:
A bully is a person who is habitually cruel to others she deems to be weaker than herself and uses browbeating language and behavior. Although we often think of bullies as big people dominating smaller folks, they are truly little people in every way:
Their fear of being wrong is demonstrated by being know-it-alls. They are often condescending, patronizing or dismissive.
Their fear of not being able to meet the needs of others causes them to never want to hear what others think, feel or want.
Their inability and unwillingness to control their anger or their tongue causes them to make everything your fault as it could not possibly be theirs.
Paradoxically, their self-esteem is too fragile to handle the possibility of being wrong.
Their need to control you demonstrates their fear of being unable to control themselves.
Their desire for power over others comes from the fear of being insignificant.
Their attempt to boost their own flailing self-esteem is fed by treating others disrespectfully, thoughtlessly and off-handedly.
Their fear of others causes them to assault character, focus on weaknesses and be the poster children for intimidation.
Unfortunately, these are all manifestations of a poor self-image coupled with lack of self-awareness and people skills.
As we are using the term here, a bully is a person who uses their power to hurt, demean, or take advantage of others who do not feel they are in a position to protect themselves. For bullying to occur both parties have to perceive the disparity of power and the paucity of alternatives.
The list below does not purport to be exhaustive, but it will describe some of the telltale signs of bullying.
Symptoms,Excuses and Realities:
Bullies indulge their tempers when dealing with people who have less power while they control themselves in interactions with more powerful people.
"You made me mad, they didn't."
The pattern, however, is that the bully tends to rage at the victim even without provocation.
"I can do it to you but I can't do it to them."
Bullies like to make people squirm. They humiliate, embarrass and ridicule their victims.
"Your incompetence, stupidity, etc. warrants this type of treatment."
Bullies shore up their own damaged ego by railing at others. They defend against their own insecurities by picking on those they see as vulnerable.
Bullies are excessive in their reactions to the actions of weaker people.
"You're driving me crazy!"
If the boss doesn't get the outcome s/he seeks, he or she isn't leading well.
Bullies are serial attackers. They return to their victims over and over again.
"When are you going to wise up, learn or get it."
"How many times do I have to tell you."
If mistakes reoccur or ignorance continues it's a result of poor teaching or supervision.
Bullies are arrogant in their belief that they are justified in their behavior because they can do it.
"I'm the boss." "Because I say so." "Rank has its privileges."
Authority never bestows the right to indulge petty personal feelings.
Punishment doesn't make people smarter it makes them sneakier.
Bullies take little responsibility for their own behavior.
"You made me angry."
My reaction is your fault, if you'd quit screwing up I wouldn't get so mad."
Every human being chooses how he or she will act on what they feel. Ultimately you are responsible for what you do with what you feel, so is the bully.
Bullies are identifiable by the inappropriateness of their responses to the situation. All anger isn't bullying.
Correction and discipline may be required, but a bully's aggression is ultimately not for the good of the enterprise. It is self-serving and inappropriate. It makes him or her feel better, bigger or more adequate. It makes the victim less motivated, more pre-occupied and unprepared to perform better in the future.
Don't give the boss the power to define you. When you are insulted or the boss attempts to humiliate you, do not take it to heart. Just because a bully says so, it doesn't make it true. Indeed, a hallmark of the bully is that he or she doesn't try to be fair or accurate. S/he says whatever will be the most cutting, not what is most fair or well deserved. Bullies act to maintain the imbalance of power, not to be fair or just. You can protect yourself by refusing to accept the insults as true.
Control your body language. Bullies thrive on fear and weakness. Acting submissive, cringing, constant apologies and the like typically add fuel to the bullies fire. Don't argue. Don't escalate the encounter. Do not let yourself get hooked. Endure the moment and end the encounter as quickly as you can.
Remember, the bully is acting on an emotional agenda, not a rational one. As a result, reasoning, arguing and attempting to defend yourself are not tactics that are likely to cause the bully to stop or to see the error of his or her way.
Taking a look at the culture of the company:
Bullying occurs in the context of the company's environment. Is the bullying aberrant or is it tolerated, or even condoned as acceptable practice where you work? Bullies prey on your fears and they use the disparity in power to victimize you. You need to develop a plan for coping. There are three choices.
You could take action to get the bully removed or sanctioned.
You could develop a plan to minimize the damage to you while you are preparing to leave.
You could walk out of the door when the bullying starts.
Which strategy will work best often depends on the culture of the company. If the bully has his or her name on the company letterhead, prepare yourself to leave. He or she is unlikely to be going anywhere and your leverage is limited. Ask yourself if others know about the bullying or if it is done in public. Is it tolerated as a part of the company's normal working conditions? If the company sanctions it, explicitly or implicitly, make plans to leave. Things are unlikely to change for the better.
If the bullying is not an accepted part of the culture, if it is covert, or hidden from others there may be a chance to get it to stop. In this case, you should document the harassment. Get your facts together. Write down the conversations in essence if not in detail.
Strive for accuracy rather than sensationalism. If others are being bullied as well, see if others are willing to band together to make the case against the bully.
Take it to the top:
If the person in question does not engage you in a good faith attempt to solve the problem and you feel that you might get relief from others in the organization, take constructive action.
Go two steps above your boss in the operational hierarchy and ask for help. Explain the situation. Present your data. Ask for action to remove the bully or to put safeguards into place to stop the abuse. Have positive suggestions for a remedy.
Going to the bully's boss might simply put that person into a position where he or she feels the need to defend their direct report. You want to avoid creating that dilemma if possible. By going two or more steps up the chain of command you have a better chance for a fair hearing.
By going up the operational chain, rather than going to HR, you will be dealing with someone who has the power to affect the bully directly. This is not true in every company nor is it true of every HR organization. However, this is the surest course to take in general.
Be prepared to leave:
There is no guarantee that anyone will do the right thing. When you decide to take action, be prepared for conditions to worsen. In that case, your most effective course of action is to remove yourself from a hopeless situation.
Conclusions:
Not everyone in a leadership role is a good leader. Some people abuse their power simply because they can. These people are bullies.
Bullying happens in the work place. A bully in a position of authority can make life miserable for his or her victims. Bullying is a sign of emotional immaturity in a leader.
Even if you have made a mistake or fell short of your goals, bullying is different from constructive criticism. Bullying seeks to hurt or punish. It isn't aimed at improving performance.
Companies that tolerate bullies in the management ranks are going to remain sub-optimized. Because bullying doesn't correct underlying problems, other frustrations will arise and those too will be met with abusive reactions. It is a no win situation.
Because true bullying is an emotional problem it is seldom remedied by reason or logic. It isn't a rational problem. If you are a victim of a bully it is your responsibility to take care of yourself by changing the dynamics of the relationship with your abuser.
Assess your situation. Make preparations to increase your options. Recognize that you may have to change employment to affect an end to the abuse. This might not be fair, but it is realistic.
Thanks to Daniel D. Elash, Ph.D and
Rhoberta Shaler, Ph.D
Over a few weeks of seeing C roll her eyes, dismiss people with a wave of her hand, hear her backbiting sarcasm and know-it-all responses, and watching her hostile, aggressive behavior and its effect on the office, there was no possibility that the behavior could go unchecked. It was toxic to the productivity and health of everyone as well as to the profitability of the company.
A problem arose. The owner of the company did not want to fire her because she brought a unique combination of experience and expertise to the company. A classic dilemma in small companies!
It is all too frequent that a person with no regard for either co-workers or the company holds too much information and the boss thinks of them as indispensable…while holding everyone else hostage.
Big mistake!
Consider how much time and energy is lost in this company as this rhino charges and bullies her way through the day. People would take a sick day when they had had enough of her overbearing nastiness. There is only so much folks can take. Productivity suffered. Clients were lost. The costs of keeping such an individual employed are too high.
Recognizing a bully:
A bully is a person who is habitually cruel to others she deems to be weaker than herself and uses browbeating language and behavior. Although we often think of bullies as big people dominating smaller folks, they are truly little people in every way:
Their fear of being wrong is demonstrated by being know-it-alls. They are often condescending, patronizing or dismissive.
Their fear of not being able to meet the needs of others causes them to never want to hear what others think, feel or want.
Their inability and unwillingness to control their anger or their tongue causes them to make everything your fault as it could not possibly be theirs.
Paradoxically, their self-esteem is too fragile to handle the possibility of being wrong.
Their need to control you demonstrates their fear of being unable to control themselves.
Their desire for power over others comes from the fear of being insignificant.
Their attempt to boost their own flailing self-esteem is fed by treating others disrespectfully, thoughtlessly and off-handedly.
Their fear of others causes them to assault character, focus on weaknesses and be the poster children for intimidation.
Unfortunately, these are all manifestations of a poor self-image coupled with lack of self-awareness and people skills.
As we are using the term here, a bully is a person who uses their power to hurt, demean, or take advantage of others who do not feel they are in a position to protect themselves. For bullying to occur both parties have to perceive the disparity of power and the paucity of alternatives.
The list below does not purport to be exhaustive, but it will describe some of the telltale signs of bullying.
Symptoms,Excuses and Realities:
Bullies indulge their tempers when dealing with people who have less power while they control themselves in interactions with more powerful people.
"You made me mad, they didn't."
The pattern, however, is that the bully tends to rage at the victim even without provocation.
"I can do it to you but I can't do it to them."
Bullies like to make people squirm. They humiliate, embarrass and ridicule their victims.
"Your incompetence, stupidity, etc. warrants this type of treatment."
Bullies shore up their own damaged ego by railing at others. They defend against their own insecurities by picking on those they see as vulnerable.
Bullies are excessive in their reactions to the actions of weaker people.
"You're driving me crazy!"
If the boss doesn't get the outcome s/he seeks, he or she isn't leading well.
Bullies are serial attackers. They return to their victims over and over again.
"When are you going to wise up, learn or get it."
"How many times do I have to tell you."
If mistakes reoccur or ignorance continues it's a result of poor teaching or supervision.
Bullies are arrogant in their belief that they are justified in their behavior because they can do it.
"I'm the boss." "Because I say so." "Rank has its privileges."
Authority never bestows the right to indulge petty personal feelings.
Punishment doesn't make people smarter it makes them sneakier.
Bullies take little responsibility for their own behavior.
"You made me angry."
My reaction is your fault, if you'd quit screwing up I wouldn't get so mad."
Every human being chooses how he or she will act on what they feel. Ultimately you are responsible for what you do with what you feel, so is the bully.
Bullies are identifiable by the inappropriateness of their responses to the situation. All anger isn't bullying.
Correction and discipline may be required, but a bully's aggression is ultimately not for the good of the enterprise. It is self-serving and inappropriate. It makes him or her feel better, bigger or more adequate. It makes the victim less motivated, more pre-occupied and unprepared to perform better in the future.
Don't give the boss the power to define you. When you are insulted or the boss attempts to humiliate you, do not take it to heart. Just because a bully says so, it doesn't make it true. Indeed, a hallmark of the bully is that he or she doesn't try to be fair or accurate. S/he says whatever will be the most cutting, not what is most fair or well deserved. Bullies act to maintain the imbalance of power, not to be fair or just. You can protect yourself by refusing to accept the insults as true.
Control your body language. Bullies thrive on fear and weakness. Acting submissive, cringing, constant apologies and the like typically add fuel to the bullies fire. Don't argue. Don't escalate the encounter. Do not let yourself get hooked. Endure the moment and end the encounter as quickly as you can.
Remember, the bully is acting on an emotional agenda, not a rational one. As a result, reasoning, arguing and attempting to defend yourself are not tactics that are likely to cause the bully to stop or to see the error of his or her way.
Taking a look at the culture of the company:
Bullying occurs in the context of the company's environment. Is the bullying aberrant or is it tolerated, or even condoned as acceptable practice where you work? Bullies prey on your fears and they use the disparity in power to victimize you. You need to develop a plan for coping. There are three choices.
You could take action to get the bully removed or sanctioned.
You could develop a plan to minimize the damage to you while you are preparing to leave.
You could walk out of the door when the bullying starts.
Which strategy will work best often depends on the culture of the company. If the bully has his or her name on the company letterhead, prepare yourself to leave. He or she is unlikely to be going anywhere and your leverage is limited. Ask yourself if others know about the bullying or if it is done in public. Is it tolerated as a part of the company's normal working conditions? If the company sanctions it, explicitly or implicitly, make plans to leave. Things are unlikely to change for the better.
If the bullying is not an accepted part of the culture, if it is covert, or hidden from others there may be a chance to get it to stop. In this case, you should document the harassment. Get your facts together. Write down the conversations in essence if not in detail.
Strive for accuracy rather than sensationalism. If others are being bullied as well, see if others are willing to band together to make the case against the bully.
Take it to the top:
If the person in question does not engage you in a good faith attempt to solve the problem and you feel that you might get relief from others in the organization, take constructive action.
Go two steps above your boss in the operational hierarchy and ask for help. Explain the situation. Present your data. Ask for action to remove the bully or to put safeguards into place to stop the abuse. Have positive suggestions for a remedy.
Going to the bully's boss might simply put that person into a position where he or she feels the need to defend their direct report. You want to avoid creating that dilemma if possible. By going two or more steps up the chain of command you have a better chance for a fair hearing.
By going up the operational chain, rather than going to HR, you will be dealing with someone who has the power to affect the bully directly. This is not true in every company nor is it true of every HR organization. However, this is the surest course to take in general.
Be prepared to leave:
There is no guarantee that anyone will do the right thing. When you decide to take action, be prepared for conditions to worsen. In that case, your most effective course of action is to remove yourself from a hopeless situation.
Conclusions:
Not everyone in a leadership role is a good leader. Some people abuse their power simply because they can. These people are bullies.
Bullying happens in the work place. A bully in a position of authority can make life miserable for his or her victims. Bullying is a sign of emotional immaturity in a leader.
Even if you have made a mistake or fell short of your goals, bullying is different from constructive criticism. Bullying seeks to hurt or punish. It isn't aimed at improving performance.
Companies that tolerate bullies in the management ranks are going to remain sub-optimized. Because bullying doesn't correct underlying problems, other frustrations will arise and those too will be met with abusive reactions. It is a no win situation.
Because true bullying is an emotional problem it is seldom remedied by reason or logic. It isn't a rational problem. If you are a victim of a bully it is your responsibility to take care of yourself by changing the dynamics of the relationship with your abuser.
Assess your situation. Make preparations to increase your options. Recognize that you may have to change employment to affect an end to the abuse. This might not be fair, but it is realistic.
Thanks to Daniel D. Elash, Ph.D and
Rhoberta Shaler, Ph.D
Thursday, June 10, 2010
What I brought versus what was required.
What was I thinking?
I brought:
Empathy.
Ingenuity.
Strong work ethic.
Authenticity.
Emotional labour.
Integrity.
Reliability.
Thoughtfulness.
Calm, assertive leadership.
Critical thinking.
They required:
Absolute servitude.
Passivity.
Chaos.
Defensivenness.
Victimhood.
Conflict.
Silence.
Pettiness.
Willingness to gossip.
No focus on adding value, building relationships or conflict resolution.
Do as I say--not as I do mindset. Yikes!
It is what it is. My perception. As I see it.
I brought:
Empathy.
Ingenuity.
Strong work ethic.
Authenticity.
Emotional labour.
Integrity.
Reliability.
Thoughtfulness.
Calm, assertive leadership.
Critical thinking.
They required:
Absolute servitude.
Passivity.
Chaos.
Defensivenness.
Victimhood.
Conflict.
Silence.
Pettiness.
Willingness to gossip.
No focus on adding value, building relationships or conflict resolution.
Do as I say--not as I do mindset. Yikes!
It is what it is. My perception. As I see it.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Guest Spot on the Catherine Show
Looks like the guest spot on the Catherine Show was brief.
Originally written in to provide relief, the role quickly became clear.
It was the catch all, the scapegoat, the once in a life-time shot.
A band aid solution. The dissent present long before my arrival would no doubt continue surely, long after my exit. Expect the unexpected, I always say.
The ass kisser still kisses ass.
The punisher still punishes.
No wrongs were righted.
The song remains the same.
I did make a difference.
However brief.
The truth does set you free.
I am no longer being bull dozed by the bully.
Abuse of power, is what it is. I am removed from the script at long last.
Actually the stint was a gift. It's all good.
Best to just let go, gracefully.
Everything does indeed, happen for a reason.
As one door closes, surely another opens.
On to the next gig!
Originally written in to provide relief, the role quickly became clear.
It was the catch all, the scapegoat, the once in a life-time shot.
A band aid solution. The dissent present long before my arrival would no doubt continue surely, long after my exit. Expect the unexpected, I always say.
The ass kisser still kisses ass.
The punisher still punishes.
No wrongs were righted.
The song remains the same.
I did make a difference.
However brief.
The truth does set you free.
I am no longer being bull dozed by the bully.
Abuse of power, is what it is. I am removed from the script at long last.
Actually the stint was a gift. It's all good.
Best to just let go, gracefully.
Everything does indeed, happen for a reason.
As one door closes, surely another opens.
On to the next gig!
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